Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Deep Breath

I am feeling overwhelmed today. It started out really great. I had a meeting at Lucy's prospective preschool this morning. I was really happy and satisfied with the teachers and the set-up. I felt really good about the whole situation, and try not to let thoughts of "oh my goodness my baby is growing up so fast!" flood my mind. The kids and I headed into the city to buy a whole schwack of presents. Emma's birthday present, Jacob's birthday present, and shower gift for Sara P, Father's Day stuff, and Grandma Janielee's birthday. Phew, June just got busy. We also enjoyed some foodcourt lunch and the kids played on the mall's coin operated carts for a few minutes. This afternoon I enjoyed putting some things together for my Dad's Father's Day gift and hanging out with Lucy...but since about 4:30pm, I have had a really overwhelming feeling and have been on the verge of tears at every moment. I'm dealing with new tenants, primary meetings and not much else, but I feel overwhelmed...I wonder why? Deep Breath...take it easy. I can do this. Heavenly Father thinks I can, so obviously I can. Time to go to our house in town and fix the washer and dryer, garage door opener and install new locks on the doors. Maybe we'll get some icecream when we're done. That'll cure it, right?

1 comment:

Alison said...

Awh, honey, I understand. It's hard to get your mind around the idea of not being with them every second - seeing their faces light up as they learn new things, wondering if others will be able to pick up on the signs that you know automatically mean that she is frustrated, nervous, or shy about, and will they be able to help her and love her the way you do. All totally normal. It gets better, but you will still miss them everyday. It's ok to grieve too you know. There is always a group of moms on the first day of school who hang out on the playground and cry a little together after the bell rings - and it's usually us 'seasoned' ones there year after year. 'Handling it' doesn't usually mean doing so without emotion. Love you and I'm always here if you need :)