Spring Memories

Oh Happy Days of Spring. We finally get to venture outside of the house. And now that Tyler is done working for the next 3 weeks, it feels like SPRING is the best time of year. So we decided to go to the zoo. We haven't been in almost a year. We were excited to take Logan, because he would actually get something out of it this time. I could just imagine him walking around with his little pointer finger just a-going. And he did.

It was a beautiful day, and spring break in Calgary (which we didn't account for) so the zoo was...wait for it...a zoo. Hardy Har. And full of HUGE puddles, which Lucy and Max loved jumping in and splashing...Tyler and I did not like standing close to them when they chose to do that though.

There have been a few renovations to the zoo since the last time we were there. A new playground and a carousel. Our general rule at the zoo is that we're there to see the animals, not to play at the park. We don't spent nearly $75 to play at the park. But the carousel was new and there were giant "Come in! We're open!" signs everywhere, so we thought, "Why not?" I'll tell you why not. Amid all the signs that welcomed patrons and little kids giggling and laughing at the joy they were having to be riding on various types of zoo animals, there were no signs that said how much it cost. Or that it cost anything at all. Just inside the door was a change machine, but we ignored that. We don't need change. We loaded our kids onto the animals of their choice, and THEN the lady running the ride asked the question, "Do you have tokens?" "Tokens" We don't have tokens?" Ah ha! She pointed us to the change machine, where we finally noticed the sign that said, "Tokens = $3 each" Nice. My kids are already loaded and ready to go and now we find out that it's going to cost $9 to go on this ride...and we have no cash. So we go for the ride and when it's done, Tyler heads to the ATM machine to get some cash. Of course, the ATM machine charges him $1.50 for the transaction - and after he's done that, he finds out that the change machine isn't working, and he has to go to the till to pay for his token. They have debit there, that doesn't charge you $1.50 - but we've already done that...haven't we? So a carousel ride ends up costing us $10.50. Pretty sure we won't be doing that again any time soon. Lucy chose a camel, which she realized once the ride was going, didn't move at all. Max rode a giant elephant, which made him nervous once it started moving. And Logan rode on the back of a gorilla, which he tried to climb off of many times, so Tyler had to force him to stay on the ride. Oh well. It was fun. Right? Lucy was doubley disappointed when she found out we wouldn't be buying icecream (which we never do) because we already spent $10 on a carousel ride.

The rest of the zoo trip WAS fun. We loved watching the elephants play with a ball. The Elephants have always been Max's favorite, and they didn't disappoint. Logan was pointing away at these amazing animals. We saw hippos, and the new baby giraffe. Logan loved the meerkats and porcupines and the lions. The lion was truly amazing. He was pacing by the glass the whole time. Must've been close to feeding time. I've never been that close to a lion before. Then he would stand on his rock and roar. There were a lot of kids, so we couldn't hear it very well. I was trying to explain to Max what it sounded like by doing a quiet roar in his ear and right at that moment, Lucy had impeccable timing and came up behind him to show off her roar. He screamed and then burst into tears. Poor Max. I reassured him that there are no animals loose in the zoo.

We finished off with the gorillas, which were no shows, and the creatures of the night are closed now...which disappointed Max...and fortunately getting to that display was only through a puddle about 3 inches deep.

A trip to the zoo is never complete without a trip to Grandma's house as well. We stopped for Logan to have a nap and for the kids to have a visit with their grandma. Grandma and Bumpa have been away for a few weeks in Oregon, so it was good to see them. Grandma brought home clothes for each of the kids, and they look so cute! Grandma also set up a tea party with Lucy and Max. They made lemonade and used her tiny tea-cups. I had a picture of Max showing off how to properly hold a tea-cup, pinky finger up and everything, but I deleted it! Argh!

So it was an awesome spring day. One we will remember. Even if a picture got deleted.

Creative Cooking

Since Sunday morning, we have been out of power half a dozen times or more. Sometimes just for a second, and sometimes more. On Monday, we lost power at about 11am and it was restored by 12:30. Then we got home from grocery shopping around 3:30 and it was out again, and did not come back on until almost 8pm. We are not used to all this freezing rain and ice on the power lines I guess. It was a challenge to make dinner, but we managed. Since we live on the farm, when the power goes out, that also means we lose water, because we are on a well and it requires an electric pump to get the water to our houses. So our big plan for a special dinner with dad was changed a bit. It was the first time in 3 months that he was going to be home for dinner on a week night, so we planned for chicken breast, roast potatoes, corn on the cob, yorkshires, salad, and rice krispie squares. I am blessed to have a gas stove, so I was still able to use my cook-top, but not the oven. So we changed the roast potatoes to mashed, and skipped the yorkshires, rice krispie squares and corn on the cob. I chose to not fill a huge pot with bottled water just to cook corn on the cob. And although there is lots of snow outside to be melted, I would chose to use that to wash dishes, but not to cook with. Although the thought did cross my mind.

We ended up having Grandma and Papa and Great-Grandma and Auntie Jayne join us for dinner because they were all out of power as well. Grandma brought Asparagus, so we added that to the menu. It worked out. It took a little longer to make dinner, because stove-top space was limited...and I used up 8 matches in the process...but it worked and everyone ate.

It started to get cool in our house around 7pm. Our thin tin walls do not hold the heat very well, so we headed up to Grandma and Papaès to play UNO and hang out. They have a wood burning stove, so heat is not a worry there. And power was restored half-way through our game. Thanks goodness. Nighttime with no power is more worrisome than the day.

The kids and Dad were excited to play outside in the snow together while dinner was being made. Logan put on his snow suit for the first time (it was a bit long in the pants) and enjoyed rolling around in the wet snow with Dad. Pretty much anything with Dad is awesome. They all built a snowman together, complete with pipe and superman shirt. Cuz all snowmen look like that.

All this time without power has made me realize how unprepared I am. It seems hard to do anything about when I know we are moving across the country in a few months, but I know I want to have a gas stove, a generator, and a garden. We need adequate food storage, and lights. It is frustrating to be out of power for a few hours, but scary to think about what we would do if it was longer than that. And at least here in Alberta we have a lot of family around who could help out in a pinch...but in Ontario, we have to fend for ourselves. I like life-lessons that come in mini-doses. Wake-up call!

Rude Awakening

Today in Sacrament meeting, Max panicked as Papa passed him the water tray. 'I'm fasting from drinks today!'.

Lucy told me she was fasting that our house would get better. We woke up at 6 am today to no heat or power. It's difficult to get ready for church without those things. But the reassuring thing was that the church would be warm. Max cried when I told him the power was out because he worried it would be dark. I reassured him that the Sun was still working.

Lesson learned: get the generator out of the box; have plenty of matches on hand (we do). Food storage!!! According to Max: 'a broken house is better than no house'; and church is still good, even when you haven't had a shower.

Baby Daddy

Logan loves playing with Lucy's baby dolls. He loves to carry them around by their feet, and slobbering licks all over their faces. But today, his play took a different turn. Bottle feedings, cuddles and real kisses!


When your baby starts playing with babies and knows how to take care of them, does that mean their not a baby anymore

Not Quite Prepared!

Tonight, our ward had a potluck. It was an Emergency Preparedness Theme and everyone was supposed to bring an item that was completely prepared with food storage items. I made my chili, because that's pretty much all I have in my food storage at this point. Lots of cans of tomato sauce, kidney beans, and the like. I jazzed it up a bit tonight by adding some canned chicken and some chick peas. Whoot! I also made some greek pasta salad. I'm not really sure you can call it salad though, when it only contains pasta and the dressing. But it was something I knew Max would eat.

We got there a bit late because I couldn't get the van started, and so we switched everything over and used Scott and Janie's truck. Makes me extremely nervous! It's a giant truck...and it's not mine. We headed to pick up Maurine from her place, and so I was glad to have the truck for that reason.

When we got there, I realized that most people, in an emergency, would be eating chili or rice. There wasn't a lot of variety, but what was there tasted good...so at least that was promising. Someone was brilliant enough to bring homemade bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jam. Seriously, brilliant. There were some cupcakes and icing, so I got one for each of the kids before they headed off to do their crafts. Max wasn't a fan. Lucy didn't care for them either, but that didn't stop her from eating the whole thing.


We enjoyed some crafts and then headed back out on the roads. It was a not too bad evening out.

I learned this, in an emergency I can use my in-laws vehicle, for the next few months, but once we move, I'm hooped. But hopefully Tyler won't be working all the time, so he can be my rescuer. And we will live off of chili, pasta, and peanut butter. I guess I better work on that.

Be Gone!

I've been reading the New Testament. I commented to Tyler yesterday that it seems like there are a lot of people that deal with being possessed of devils. It happens really frequently. I haven't heard of people dispelling demons and devils as much these days. Is it just less common? Or just less spoken of? Or less recognized? These have been my thoughts this week.

I've also been PMSing. I hate it. I hate that once a month something seems to take over my body and my mind and I have little or no control over it. There are a lot of times, when I get impatient or frustrated, I can sense it, and control it, or choose it. But it seems like when I'm PMSing, I have no recognition of my temper and frustration until after the damage is already done. And then I feel awful. I don't like that once a month my kids have to 'watch-out'. I felt the same way when we were first married and I was on the pill. Only 100x worse. It was truly dark and terrible, so we opted out of 'the pill' as an option. (In case you were THAT curious about my birth-control choices!) But once a month, this tiny demon seems to enter my body and it is a physical struggle to overpower him. Add to that the headaches, aching and bloating, plus the chocolate cravings (which this month seem to be monumental!) and it's pretty much the worst week ever. And the worst part is, I know it'll come back in just a few.

So my new challenge for me: Get control of it. I'm not big on taking pills. (Not that there is anything wrong with them) When I struggled with PPD, I opted out of medicine and tried to find natural ways to combat. Taking walks and being outside helped, somewhat, but truthfully, reading my scriptures and praying were the only things that made a difference. So PMS is the new battle. I'm tired of being possessed of the PMS-devil. I'm still reading my scriptures and praying...so I will redouble the efforts. I imagine actually keeping track of my cycle on a calendar would make a difference, so I know when to expect it coming. Maybe some time before to be aware and prepare would make a difference. Some extra prayers. Some reaching out (that's hard for me) and not putting too much in that week.

This is my challenge...and I imagine I will be dealing with for a number of years to come. But it has to get better. There has to be a way. I refuse to give up.

Split-Personality

On Wednesday, we went to the church in the morning to meet up with a bunch of moms and kids for some play-time. Everyone brought ride-on toys to play with and it was a great way to dispel some energy amidst all this snow and cold. We also added some races, duck-duck-goose and What Time Is It Mr. Wolf?.


When we got home, the kids decided to play dress-up. Lucy put on her Tinkerbell costume, and Max decided, with great excitement, to put on Lucy's Snow White dress. He proceeded to wear it for the remainder of the day. At one point, Lucy got changed back into her regular clothes, and I asked Max if he wanted to get changed too, and he said no. I didn't push it.

On Thursday, when Lucy was at school, Max spent the entire day playing trains, cars, transformers, swords (using the lids to my pots as shields), superheroes and reading a scary Halloween book. I guess he wanted to make up for his feminine day by having a completely masculine one.

Max - The Birthday Man

Saturday was a 4-year-old Super Swim party...with Quesadillas. That's what Max requested. Swimming and quesadillas. So we obliged. And the countdown was on from about 10 days. I am certain that waiting ten days for your birthday party when you are 4 is nearly impossible. But it finally came.

The kids have gotten pretty confident in the water now, which really sets my mind at ease. Because they used to freak out. Water wings have made a big difference. Max put on a pool life-jacket at one point, which was a bit small, and everyone got a good laugh about his wedgie. Logan had a blast. Especially when he was hanging with Dad. He enjoyed splashing around and playing with the rings and the balls. At one point I asked him if he was ready to get out and eat, and he nodded yes...until he saw dad.

We headed back for our Quesadilla party, and lots more visiting and playing. Cupcakes and rainbow icecream and presents.
The day before we had gone to the dollar store to pick up a few party supplies and balloons. Max got to choose 2. He chose a 'Happy 4th Birthday' one in green, and a 'Happy Birthday' one that matched the cups, plates, and tablecloth we already had. When we got to the front to pay, the lady asked what type of ribbons he would like tied to them after she inflated them. He concluded that he already had green and blue and red, his favorite colors, so he would like pink ribbons, 'Because I also like rosie cheeks' he said.

Max was hilarious opening his presents. We decided to do it 'spin-the-bottle' style and at one point we were spinning Great-Grandma's oxygen tank, but gave up on that because it was too heavy...and let's face it, weird.

Max requested a suit for his birthday, so he could look like Dad on Sundays, and we were happy to do that for him. Tyler had picked it up on Friday, so it was ready for the party on Saturday. Because he had to try it on, it wasn't much of a surprise, so Tyler picked a purple zip tie to go with it, in addition to the black one that came with it, and then I sewed him 2 pocket squares. Purple and multi-colored (mostly blue). The kids like to get their dad a tie or pocket square for every present-giving occasion. So we knew Max would be pretty pleased to have one of his own. As he opened it, someone asked him if he knew what it was, and he answered without hesitation, 'Yeah! it's a pocket square!' What 4-year-old knows that?!


He also got Monster-Trucks, coloring books, and a shaving kit and awesome Super Hero puzzles which he has already done many times.

Auntie Alison gave him a Walmart Transformers gift card, which he is stoked about. And Great-Grandma gave him $5...also a highlight.


Grandma and Papa got him his own tool-box with tools in it. It was the last gift he opened, and his face fell and got emotional when he saw it. He saw the screwdriver set and said, 'I can't have that...it's too sharp!' (almost heartbroken as if he couldn't believe someone would get him something he couldn't actually use!) Grandma reassured him that they were safe and not too sharp. Then the gift was awesome! Papa, had to fly to Germany right after the swimming, so he didn't get to see Max open the gift, but Grandma told him that Papa wanted to give him some wood and teach him how to build something. So cool! There was also a Spiderman truck in the tool box, which was the highlight at the moment. The tool box contained screwdrivers, a flashlight, a level, a hammer, some nails, a sanding block, and a tape measure. Because the gift was big, it wasn't wrapped, so we made him close his eyes and hold out his hands to receive it. Seriously cute.


Now a word about Max:
He is my buddy. My best little friend. He is so spunky and climbs on literally everything. All The Time. Why sit when you can stand? Why stand when you can walk? Why walk when you can run? and Why run when you can climb, bound and jump? That is Max's life motto.
He is super stubborn, but his stubbornness is subsiding. He used to fight-back and argue with everything, I think just for the sake of arguing sometimes! Now he only takes a stand when he is super tired, or we've been rushing too much and haven't given him sufficient time to just be. He needs it. I think he mostly has a hard time expressing his frustrations. Sometimes his whole body shakes and tears start to come because I can tell he is trying so hard NOT to freak out, but it is taking ALL his physical strength to restrain it. Makes me just want to hug him.

He is also THE sweetest boy I've ever met. He loves hugs. And gives really good ones. But only if you've made it into his hug book. He doesn't just give them to anyone. He loves to rub people's backs to help them feel better. He loves doing jobs, and races as fast as he can to get it done. (Something I hope sticks!) He gets incredibly emotional whenever he sees something bad happening to babies. He just can't handle it. We watched Prince of Egypt one time (story of Moses) and when the baby was put in the basket and floating on the river, or when the Pharaoh commanded all the babies to be 'you know what' he lost it. He also cried at the beginning of Megamind when the baby superheros are blasted away from their planet in baby spaceshuttles, or in Toy Story 3 when the Lotso the bear yells at Big Baby.

He is also hilarious. The things that make him laugh the most are words like, "Poop, Bum, Toot, and Butthead." Typical 4-year-old boy stuff. I believe this is why Despicable Me is his current favorite movie. He has the best giggle. Watching him watch movies is one of my favorite things to do. And he will quote them back to us for days afterward.

He likes to do things himself. He does not like help very often, and especially when it is offered. He'd rather ask for it, otherwise, leave him be. Especially when it comes to dressing himself. He figured out how to do buttons and now has to do them himself all the time. It takes a while. I used to get frustrated when we were in a hurry, but now I just account for it and leave him time.

His best friend is his sister. The days that she has school are especially hard for him. I don't get much done on those days, because he needs a playmate. I'm hoping Logan and him will start to have their own games soon. He is so good about playing with, and including people in his games. He LOVES puzzles and is so good at them. He also loves Star Wars, Transformers and cars. But, he has no problem, and actually looks forward to playing games with Lucy, like Pet Shops, Babies, Dress-up, House, Princesses...whatever she comes up with. For a long time, he would just go along with her ideas, but now he's insisting that she listen to him and let him come up with ideas. I've never seen a brother and sister as close as those two, and I hope it lasts forever...and that they include Logan soon.

He has weird tastebuds I think. He DOES NOT like cereal. It makes breakfast interesting. He usually eats granola bars or crackers, or yogurt or fruit. But he can't even stand being close to someone who is eating cereal. The smell of frosted flakes or cheerios is very offensive to him. But he loves Mexican food like quesadillas and chimichungas. He does not like chili...or soups.

He is smart and handsome and loving and wonderful. He always wants to be doing more, but also loves to just be at home with his family. He's just awesome. I love him. He totally has my heart and I just nearly burst out of my skin because I like him SO much.

Countdown to Birthday

On Wednesday we went crazy. Did a lot of running around. What am I talking about...this whole week has been like that. Getting ready for a 4-year-old birthday party and a 30-year-old birthday party. We took Max shopping for his present. He decided he wanted a suit for his birthday, so he could look like Dad. Seriously, that is the cutest notion I have ever heard. So we went to try them on and I nearly died. Look at how handsome he is.

We went to this store in Dalhousie station called Sweet Cheeks and bough him a 5-piece suit. He ordered it in black, because that is what Dad has. I thought the green looked really handsome too.

We started the morning with Logan on the potty. I know, I know. 13-months seems a bit young for potty training, but he was in the tub and started making èthe faceè and since I hate cleaning that stuff out of the tub, i plunked him on the toilet as fast as I could. The kids thought it was hilarious. He did not like it until he saw how much the kids DID, and then it was content to sit there for a while.

We ended the day with naps in the van (Logan and Max) and a trip to the Doctor. Loganès nap was intentional. Maxès was due to the fact that he is so used to taking naps in the van, that if we drive anywhere in the afternoon and I donèt have something to distract him with, he will fall asleep.

Doctor concluded that Logan has 2 ear infections, just as I suspected. Hopefully the antibiotics will help him to sleep! Because it is getting a bit ridiculous. Add teething to that and patience is wearing thin. I actually bought one of those amber teething necklaces for him. I am hoping it works. He looks a bit like a pimp wearing it, but hey, whatever works so I donèt have to administer Tylenol every 4 hours for the next 6 months would be great.

The week has been crazy since then. Today is more birthday prep. Balloons, cupcakes, etc. Max is a bit down today because Lucy has gone to play at a friends house and he just doesnèt understand why he canèt go, or why she wonèt stay home to play with him. Itès a hard thing to explain to. The reasons are reasonable, but they still suck. Maybe I can distract him by having him help me make Rice Krispie Squares.

We Can Do Hard Things

This post has been on my mind for a while. In fact, I rarely think of much else these days. I have written this post many times in my mind, without typing it out, because I was never sure how I wanted to do it. I am not the type of person that likes to wallow in self-pity, because I donèt see much point in it. It definitely doesnèt help a situation, so itès pretty much useless in my mind. But at the same time, this blog is supposed to be like my journal and family yearbook, and since these are pretty significant events in our lives, I want to blog about it. So itès a fine line. (Wow, this is sounding heavy).

Itès been a rough go for a while. Tyler is working so very hard on finishing his PhD dissertation at the moment. Trying to have it completely by March 28th. Although he has been working on it since doing his defence in April 2009, anyone who is familiar with a PhD knows that these few months have meant crunch time. Most every day he works 12 to 14 hours on it. That means heès up, and showered and out of the house and we donèt see him again until late in the evening, or sometimes not at all.

When he was preparing to do his candidacy exam in April 2009, we experienced something similar. He would go into the office for 14 hours a day and work his tail off...but there were a few differences. It is definitely harder this time. For one, I only had 2 children. And they were not babies, but they were also not school-aged either. So our days were at our leisure. No where to be at a specific time, so we were able to dictate what we did, when we wanted to do it. It was also Spring. We missed dad a lot, but we would fill our days with trips to the zoo or the park, coloring, movies, picnics, shopping, and whatever else we could think of. Often-times, we would bring a picnic dinner in to dad, so at least we all got to see him for an hour a day. We would sit around the boardroom table at his office and eat our dinner together, and then the kids and I would drive home to bed.

This time, we are working around school schedules and baby-napping schedules, so the opportunities to go out and DO are limited. We do not get to surprise dad with picnics, because it gets too late in the evening, and his office is too far away to allow for a decent bedtime. So we just eat alone. I make enough dinner for Tyler every night, and put it into a tupperware container for him to take with him the next day.

The kids and I get up in the morning and have a few minutes with dad...while he showers and gets dressed, and then he is out the door. Most nights, he isnèt home until 9:30 or 10pm, long after the kids have gone to bed, so those 10 to 15 minutes in the morning are all they get of him. He and I usually hang out for an hour before going to bed, and then itès time to start the whole thing again.

In the last few weeks, though, he has been pushing to get renovations done on our house in Cochrane so we can sell it in preparation for our move to Kingston. So most days he works till 9pm, and then goes to our house in town and works until midnight doing things there. I usually am in bed and asleep before he gets home, so even I only get 10 to 15 minutes every morning with him.

To say itès been rough is an understatement. My mom asked me how I was handling being a single parent the other day. I told her that being a single parent isnèt hard. (I imagine that being a true single parent IS) I can handle the day-to-day. Yes, itès a lot of work to do absolutely everything for 3 young kids all day every day for weeks...months. But I know itès not permanent, so I can do it. The hardest part is feeling lonely. The hardest part is knowing how stressed and tired my husband is, and not being able to do anything about it. He sent me a text message the other day with a photo of himself sitting at his desk working. I know flourescent lighting is harsh, but he looked so tired and worn out and like he had aged years in that very day. It brought me to tears. (Ièm sure he loves knowing that a picture of him scared me so much it made me cry!) I packed up the kids into the van and headed into the city that moment in order to surprise him and take out to dinner at BPs. We all needed it.

At this very moment, he is at our house in town working by himself, and plans to keep doing that until the job is done. And Ièm at home. Not able to help because I have 3 kids sleeping, but feeling so desperately stir-crazy because I canèt help.

Sunday has become our new favorite day of the week. We donèt work on Sunday. And so Sunday is now known as èDad-dayè. It puts a lot of pressure on him, though, Ièm sure, because he is so exhausted from working so hard, that he would love Sunday to be a day of èrestè, but itès also the only day that his kids and wife get ANY of his attention. And so he gives more.

On Monday morning, Lucy said, ÈDad, can you play this with meÉÈ as he was getting ready for work. He told her he had to go to work, and she responded with, ÈOK, I guess itèll wait until next Sunday.È He told me it broke his heart.

I guess I finally decided to write this post, because tonight was especially hard, and Ièm not even sure why. His sister and her husband are in town this week, and so for the last 3 days, we have had dinner together as a family. Tonight, it was hard to sit with his entire family at the dinner table and laugh and listen to chatter and stories without him. It was lonely. Sometimes itès easier to feel lonely on your own than in a crowd of people I guess. I think I have a sister who might understand that...and now I understand her a bit more.

Anyway, because I donèt want this to turn into a pity-party, I want to list all the things I am grateful for in this situation, because there have definitely been some blessings.

I am grateful that, although this is rough on my children, they have not acted out, even once. In fact, thay have been close to angelic these past 2 months. They ask me every morning, èdoes dad have to work todayÉÈ and I always tell them yes, but then they leave it alone. Thatès as far as it goes. Max knows that dad is working on his PhD, but an incident happened a few weeks ago that made us realize that he knows the words, but doesnèt know what they mean. As part of Tylerès PhD èworkè, he gets grant money. A portion of that money is designated towards ètechnology and researchè, which is how he has been able to pay for his laptop, etc. The last installment of this research and technology grant money came in this month, and so he decided to use it towards getting an iMac with a really large monitor, so he could have a really reliable computer to finish off with, as well as a large monitor since he is staring at it for 14 hours a day. So one morning the kids get up and see this huge box in our living room. Max comes running down the hallway saying, ÈHe did it! Dad got his PhD!È He showed me the box and I laughed and said, ÈThatès dadès new computer Max. Do you know what a PhD isÉÈ ÈNo.È He obviously assumes that it must be something huge that is keeping his daddy away so much.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father is sustaining us. I feel like we go to bed exhausted every night, but somehow have the energy to get up in the morning and do it all again. Itès like running a long-distance sprint all the time. But somehow, the energy comes back every morning.

I am grateful that everything else has kind of been low-key. Besides muscling through these few months, nothing else is really happening, so we have been able to focus on the task at hand. Weève become really good at saying no to the non-essentials, and that has been a great lesson learned. Every once in a while, you just canèt do everything, and putting your family first at the expense of a lot of other things is just necessary. I donèt feel guilty, and I appreciate that.

I am grateful for a daughter who leaves me random notes and drawings to pick me up. I go to bed every so often and find a little heart cut out of paper, or a picture, or note on my night-table and I am grateful to have her. I donèt know when she sneaks in there and does these things, but I appreciate the pick-me-up.

I am grateful that my children have only called me mean, or no-fun a few times. Most of the time we have fun and they donèt think Ièm too bad to hang out with.

I am most grateful for a completely awesome husband. I have thought on many occassions (many meaning every day for the last 7 and a half years) how grateful I am to have him as my eternal companion, but never more so than right now. I am grateful for how hard he works. Always. And never gives up. Ever. Ièm sure it would be perfectly reasonable for him to have a day where he just threw his hands up in the air and said, èforget it. not today.è But he doesnèt. He continues, no matter how tired he is, or how much it sucks, or how much he misses his kids and his family. He is going to get it done, and thatès just that. Knowing that your husband is a hard worker and never quits is pretty reassuring for an eternal companion. Itès a pretty great quality to have. He doesnèt sleep at night. Not very well anyway. Heès constantly got simulations and other stuff I donèt understand running through his mind. And even though we havenèt talked much these last 2 months, I know he loves me.

So, thatès our life these days. Iève done hard things before, and Ièm sure one day, when Ièm in the middle of something else that is hard, this wonèt seem so bad...and moment by moment, it really isnèt that bad. But I wanted to write it down, so that we could look back and know that we can do hard things, and suceed. So there it is.

And on a positive note: My kids take full advantage of Èdad dayÈ. Things happen when he is around that just donèt happen otherwise. And this is a perfect example:



(Oh, and yes I know that every time I use a question mark or quotations or apostraphe that my computer throws in some random french E, but I am too tired to fix it right now, so you will have to read this post and interpret it yourself...I will fix it another day).

Doctor Sexy

As I was going through some of the papers Tyler has been stashing on top of our piano, I came across this article. I am surprised he hadn't showed it to me himself:

The next sexy job? Statistician (no, really)

At Harvard University, Carrie Grimes majored in anthropology and archaeology, studying Mayan settlment patterns by mapping where artifacts were found. But she was drawn to what she calls 'all of the computer and math stuff' that was part of the job.Now Ms. Grimes does a different kind of digging. She works at Google, where she uses statistical analysis of mounds of data to come up with ways to improve its search engine.
Ms. Grimes is an Internet-age statistician, one of many who are changing the image of the profession as a place for dronish number nerds. They are finding themselves increasingly in demand - and even cool.
'I keep saying that the sexy job in the next 10 years will be statisticians,' said Hal Varian, chief economist at Google. 'And I'm not kidding.'
The rising stature of statisticians, who can earn $125,000 (U.S.) at top companies in their first year after getting a doctorate, is a byproduct of the recent explosion of digital data. In field after field, computing and the Web are creating new realms of data to explore - sensor signals, surveillance tapes, social network chatter, public records and more. Yet data is merely the raw material of knowledge.
'We're rapidly entering a world where everything can be monitored and measure.' said Erik BrynJolfsson, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Center for Digital Business. 'but the big problem is going to be the ability of humans to use, analyze and make sense of the data,' he said.
The new statistican breed tackles that problem. They use powerful computers and sophisticated mathematical models to hunt for meaningful patterns and insights in vast troves of data. The applications are as diverse as improving Internet search and online advertising, culling gene sequencing information for cancer research and analyzing sensor location data to optimize the handling of food shipments.
Statisticians are only a small part of an array of experts using modern statistical techniques for data analysis. Computing and numerical skills matter far more than degrees. So the new data sleuths come from backgrounds such as economics, computer science and mathematics.
- New York Times News Service

I've always thought his brain was sexy...now the world is starting to agree.

Hail to the Teachers

Last night, I had parent-teacher interviews at Lucy's school. Lucy had brought home a stellar report card last week and I teased her before leaving, asking if the teacher was going to tell me terrible things about her. She laughed and said, "No! I got 100%!" How does she even know what that is?!

It ended up being an eye-opening experience. Eye-opening in that I realized last night that there are other people in this world who will take the time and energy to get to know my child on a very personal basis, and base their interactions with them solely on what they have observed works best for them. I love Lucy's teacher. I can't say that enough. I love that Lucy is in a small kindergarten class with only 12 other students. They go all day, twice a week, and have so many amazing activities, field-trips and learning experiences. It is far more than I could have ever hoped for.

Her teacher recognizes that Lucy is brilliant (I know I'm her mother, but truly, she is), but that she is also very shy, and a perfectionist. In speaking with her last night, and in also hearing her discussion with the parents who were meeting before me, I realized that she truly has taken the time to get to know the kids and teaches them in ways that work for them. Lucy needs her time to observe and soak things in before she dives in. Once she's figured it out, she performs to levels higher than expected of her age. But she is also very hard on herself if she makes mistakes.

I was in awe sitting there listening to someone else speak about my girl in such distinct, specific and personal ways. She knows her nearly as well as I do...and as a mom, that is the best thing I've ever heard. I love knowing that she goes to school somewhere that someone is so truly invested in her learning and care.

She also gave me some tips on how to handle her 'perfectionist' tendencies so as to not let it become a hang-up. I wish that all kids could have teachers like this. I wish all classrooms could be set up to allow for such one-on-one time. I wish that 'the system' was set up in such a way that put a huge emphasis on early education as they do on post-secondary. And that good teachers were compensated for their hard work.

I am also sad that we will be moving and Max won't get to experience having this awesome teacher as his own. I hope we are able to find just as an amazing teacher where we end up.

What's In A Name?

My Divine cousin posted about this very subject on her most divine blog and I decided to answer her questions here on my own.

My name means a lot to me. I was a Bourne first...and I cherish it. It's where I came from. I have a great heritage of strong family. People who love, and sacrifice, and serve. It's my root system. I have grandparents who honor and sacrifice; parents who support and comfort; siblings who friendship and laugh. Kind of great.

Now my name is Williamson. Which also means a great deal. I have now added to my root system an entirely new family who's values and tradition I can now cherish as my own. My Bourne family gives me security, my Williamson family gives me confidence. I feel lucky to share my name with my husband and have the world know that I am his.

I haven't ever thought much about my first name. It doesn't really have a meaning. It's the name of a plant or shrub. And for a long time I didn't think that was very exciting. Until recently. I've always wanted to have Heather plants in my garden one day, so I decided to research what they were all about and how to care for them, and I came across some interesting facts. It was interesting to me how much a Heather-plant is similar to a Heather-me:
"The Heather plant is an evergreen shrub and blooms from late July to November; The flower's various flowers come in colors ranging from white, through pink, a wide range of purples, and reds."
My favorite season is fall, and it also happens to be when my birthday is. I love it because of the rich colors that appear at that time of year. And purples, pinks, and reds happen to be my favorite colors.
T"he Heather Plant's name comes from Greek, meaning: brush - and is used often for cleaning (such as a broom), it's flowers are often used in herbal medicinal remedies; and it's often referred to as Ling, meaning 'fire' as it is often used for fuel. "
"It needs sunlight and protection from harsh winter winds."
Anyway, interesting reading for me. I'm good for cleaning (or keeping clean) and warmth or fuel (I hope that sometimes I show a little warmth) and I need protection from harsh winter wind...on days like today, when it's -35, I completely agree!

I put a lot of thought into choosing my children's names. When I was pregnant with Lucy, we decided to keep her gender a surprise, so we kept tossing around boy and girl names. We had both liked the name Matthew and figured we'd use it someday. So we settled on that for a boy. And one night I had a dream about a little red-headed child, toddler age, in a sleeper. I couldn't see the baby's face, but I kept calling, "Matthew! Matthew!" and the baby didn't respond. The next day I told Tyler that I didn't think our baby's name was Matthew. Turns out she was a girl, so it made sense. The name Lucy came to me very peacefully one day as I was sitting in my room getting things organized for having a baby. Packing my hospital bag, folding onesies and receiving blankets. I had recently finished reading the History of the Prophet Joseph Smith, written by his mother, Lucy Mack Smith. The name Lucy came into my mind and I remember smiling. When I told Tyler I liked the name, he said, "but if she has red hair, people will always think of Lucille Ball!" I reassured him that that would never happen. So we decided that if we had a girl, her name would be Lucy. And to this day, when people meet her and see her red hair, they say, "Oh, just like Lucille Ball!" Oh well, you can't win them all.

Her middle name is Jane after her grandmother, Janielee. We went back and forth over the middle name as well, choosing between Jane and Emmeline. We finally decided that Emmeline was just too fancy, and it didn't suit her. Plus, being named after someone as awesome as Grandma has been something she has loved every day of her life. Lucy is a fancy girl, and a bit of a princess, but she's a simple, sweetheart, and so her name fits. I want her to be strong in her testimony, like Lucy Mack and Grandma Janielee, but Lucy also carries a sweetness with it that is completely her. Without guile, and so compassionate. She's a doll.

Maxwell Scott. When I was pregnant with him, I had no question whether it was a boy or a girl. We did an ultrasound to find out, just to be sure, but when the tech told me it was a boy, I was not surprised. We went back to our list and thought about Matthew again, but it still didn't work. My favorite story book as a child was "Where the Wild Things Are" and the boy's name is Max. I could tell by the rolling and jumping in my belly, that this boy inside me was a lively one, so we considered Max. Plus, it's such a cute name for my little strawberry blonde guy. But it needed to be more than just Max. My favorite apostle (if you're supposed to have favorites) has always been Neil A Maxwell, so the name Maxwell was chosen. Scott is Tyler's middle name, and his dad's middle name, so we decided to carry on and name our first boy with the middle name Scott. For a while, Max thought everyone's middle name was Scott. Papa Scott, Tyler Scott, Mommy Scott. So he is my wild-thing...but hopefully one day will be temperate and gentle like my favorite apostle.

Logan Tyler. This was a tough one. I wanted the name Charlie. But no one else in my family liked it. Then I thought about using family names. Timmins and Saker are our Grandmother's maiden names. Saker Timmins Williamson. But Tyler is NOT about invented or weirdo first names, so that was nixed. One day we were driving into Calgary, and I said, "What about Logan?" Not sure where it came from, but there it was. He's not really named after anyone or anything. There is a character in one of my favorite TV shows named Logan, but I swear that's not where the name came from. And he's named Tyler after his dad. (Obviously). He is already very handsome and charming, just like his dad, so the name seems to suit him well.

There you have it. Those are the names. It sounds like a lot of thought and effort was put into them, but really, it doesn't matter who they're named after, but what they do with their names that is important. Then someday, someone can look to them, and be pleased with the name because it was theirs and they did good things with it.

Her Price is Far Above Rubies

I have been thinking a lot about Womanhood these last few days. I don't know why. I'm sure if you asked me yesterday, I could have told you. But today it is a fog. Welcome to Womanhood. Being a woman in today's world is tough. I'm sure it's been tough in any era, but this is where I am. So, I've decided to put some of my thoughts down on virtual paper. It's an idea to celebrate woman.
On May 3rd, 2005, I became the mother of a daughter, and my ideas of womanhood suddenly changed. Maybe solidified is a better word. Knowing that I am the number one influence on this young girl who will one day be a woman is a big deal to me. The way I talk, and act will influence her perception of herself and help her determine her worth as a woman. I want er to realize that a righteous woman's worth is immeasurable. 'far above rubies.' So much in the world degrades woman. Wrong and twisted messages are seen in every form of media. It teaches them that their worth lies within looks, hair, clothes. Or that those things can be exploited to help you get what you want, and it won't have damaging or lasting effects. Or who cares if they do?...we live for the now. And if a woman decides to speak out and feel empowered, it is so easy to swing the other way and then trends towards male bashing and over-feminist movements appear.
I want my daughter to be confident, but not proud. I want her to be strong and compassionate. I want her to stand her ground and learn to turn the other cheek. I want her to seek for beauty, but for it to not blind her to the person within. I want her to know that her worth does not lie in things, but in who she is...a daughter of God. And that alone makes her of the most worth. I want her to feel complete in who she is, but to seek a righteous companion. Someone who uplifts and inspires her to be even better, but loves and honors her for who she already is. And I want her to be that type of companion to someone too. I want her to know that she does not need to change to get a boy's attention, but that the boys she seeks after will inspire her to live better. Because I am the mother of a daughter, I have made very careful to watch what I say. One quality I like in myself is that I try not to openly criticize myself. I really try not to. That is definitely not to say I'm perfect, because I am certainly not. But my children do not need to hear their mother be self-deprecating. I try to not comment on MY physical appearance too much, because I don't want her to think that a good day or bad day is determined by hair, or clothing choice, or skin condition, or the size of some physical feature.
In Proverbs 31:10 it reads: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." and virtuous is defined as: 'sacred, pure, modest, holy, good, clean, chaste.'. That is what I want for her.
So, I celebrate being a woman. A woman's influence reaches to every aspect of society. And I hope that woman everywhere will join me. I am also the mother of two boys and I know that a woman's influence on boys is far reaching as well. I don't want them to associate with girls and woman who do not honor womanhood.
So, if you read this, join me in celebrating womanhood. Honor mothers, and sisters, and daughters and friends who influence for good. Who influence toward God. What quality do you possess as a woman that you cherish?

Just Mommy and Me

Today is a school day for Lucy, which means it's a boys day for me. It's -32, so that means a day inside, for sure. How do we fill up our time?
Playing Transformers
Puzzles
Stories
oh, and "Guess Who I Am?" A kid's version of Headbands. So fun!