No Pain, No Gain

Well, with all of this H1N1 going around and the back and forth about available vaccines with the who and the when, we have been hearing a lot of good and bad about our government and these vaccine's in general. We've gotten different stories depending on who we talk to...our family doctor, my OB, Tyler's work associates, media, government, and just hear-say from family and friends. A few months back, we were offered by the Children's Hospital to enroll our kids in an H1N1 vaccine study. We thought and prayed about it, and figured that it was a good idea and decided to proceed. There was some nervousness of unknown, but our kids health is always most important and so we decided that this would be a good opportunity for them to get the vaccine before most people and ensure our family was protected. The study ended up being canceled for logistical reasons and we never ended up with the vaccine. Then we got it (H1N1 I mean). And it hit us hard. Lucy seemed immune and we wonder if she had it earlier in the year and we just didn't know. Once we were in a state where we could function again, we asked our doctor about getting the vaccine still, and if it was necessary. Our family doctor told us to still get it, but that we could wait a few weeks until things settled down. My OB told us to get it ASAP to ensure that we didn't run into a shortage. They started to make the vaccine available only for high risk people, including children under 5 and pregnant women. On Saturday morning, after hemming and hawing and going back and forth, we decided to head to the clinic set up in our neighborhood to get our 'pokes'. Tyler's brother had called to say the line up was very quick, and so we rushed and got down there before we headed out to Banff for the day. The longest wait was after our flu shot when we had to sit for 15 minutes to make sure everyone was ok. We filled out our paper work, reassured a very upset Lucy and laughed at Max who kept telling us, "I'm very brave...I love getting needles!" He hopped up on Dad's lap and pulled his sleeve up ready for his vaccination. His reaction was a little different once the needle was done, a few tears were shed, but he was great. Lucy was nearly hysterical leading up to the needle that she didn't even feel the nurse give her the needle and was surprised at how much it didn't hurt. And of course, I had my poke too, with a few unnecessary butterflies. We read over the possible side-affects, but are always reassured that the good health later on. As we sat for our 15 minutes, they gave the kids stickers and suckers to pass the time...note to self and other caregivers, a sucker after a vaccination is probably not the best idea. Read on.
Max kept complaining of a sick tummy. We went home to get showered up and ready to drive out to Banff with some of Tyler's friends. Max threw up at home and it was mostly green, from previously mentioned sucker. We showered him up too, asked him how he was feeling and headed out the door. Since my kids were about 1, they have thrown up after a vaccination, so I wasn't too worried. We headed out to Banff for a trip up Johnston's Canyon (that's another blog in itself). Max was a little tired and didn't really eat much most of the day, but again, we weren't worried. Once we were done with our hike, we decided to head into the town of Banff and have some dinner at Earl's. We were there only a few minutes when Max decided to 'explode'. I'm talking taking off the diaper (obviously), onesie, pants, the whole nine yards. He ended up sitting on my lap at the table for a few minutes in just a diaper and shirt and socks. But we didn't last there long as we headed back to the bathroom for many more explosions. Needless to say, I didn't get to eat my dinner at Earl's. I texted Tyler from the ladies washroom many times for extra diapers from the van, a plastic bag to put his messy clothes into, and finally a plea for us to just get the heck outta there! For the most part he stood naked in the stall, and I would put him on the toilet when needed, because I was done to one last diaper that had to last us home. He threw up a few more times and decided to cuddle with mom for a few minutes and then have diarrhea all over my leg. Oh, the people at Banff Earl's must have loved me! We stopped at Safeway on our way out and bought a package of diapers just in case and drove into the night. Tyler's friends were very understanding and helpful as we didn't get to visit much. I rushed Max out to the waiting van in nothing but his diaper and shirt and had him sit on my coat in his carseat to contain any mess that might happen. He ended up being fine on the way home and watched a few kids shows on our DVD player and ate most of my french fries from my meal, which we thought was a good sign. We cleaned him at in the shower at home and he fell asleep in Tyler's arms in about 2 minutes. That night, he woke up only one time around midnight with a bit more throw-up, but was pretty out of it, so I was able to clean him and his bed up without disturbing him too much. The next morning (Sunday) he was lively and ready to go, so we decided to try out church. He filled his diaper one more time before we left, but we decided to still chance it. His face was a bit pale and his eyes were a bit sunken most of the day, and he was tired (that definitely showed in his major meltdown during sacrament meeting...yes, we ended up in the van for about 20 minutes while he calmed down). Needless to say, that ship has sailed and all are healthy again. The kids have complained for sore arms for a few days now, which is longer than I would have expected, but I seem to remember that the flu shot is usually worse than a regular vaccine.
Like I said, there has been a lot of controversy over this vaccination. Some may have rationalized that we didn't need to get it, because we already had H1N1 and were probably already immune. And I could have avoided Max's Earl's escapade...but to me, the long term gain always outweighs the short-term pain. Not that it matters to anyone else...but I wanted to record this information for posterity sake. Partially for the 'go-vaccine' push I'm obviously giving, and partially because it'll be a funny story to hold over Max's head when he's older and giving me grief.

Holiday Duo

Tonight, Grandma Maurine invited us over to her house for dinner, a Halloween Party and FHE to set up her GIANT Christmas tree. Because the kids had been sick on Halloween, she wanted them to have a little party to celebrate afterwards. She ordered pizza, bought chips and fudgcicles, created little loot bags for them, and set up a game on hide-and-seek in her massive house. We had fun setting up the giant tree as well. Most of the time, we have to keep the kids out of the way, because there isn't much they can do, until we get to the plastic decorations, but they enjoyed seeing the enormity of it anyway. Grandma's tree is really fun too, because she has these big clusters of 'grape' lights which are made with led paint, so no one is really allowed to touch them, and some really fancy glass decorations...again, which no one is really allowed to touch, for a different reason, and then she's got a bunch of 'Hershey' decorations, because her maiden name is Hirsche. The kids really enjoy finding all things Hershey around her house and thought it was great to hang some kisses on the tree. Once the tree was done, we put the chicken costumes from Halloween back on so Great Grandma would have a chance to see them. Max showed us a pretty funny run that he likes to do in the costume, but we had a heck of a time getting it on film. We kept explaining to him to start at one end of the room and run towards us, or away from us, so we could tape it, but every time, he would do something completely different. Either he wouldn't do the funny run, or he would run the wrong directions, or Lucy would get in the way. We have tonnes and tonnes of video of the adults (Papa, Grandma, Great Grandma and I) laughing away at his antics and Tyler shouting orders to get him to do it right. We laughed most at Tyler's frustration.It was a fun family home evening and a night to celebrate multiple holidays. The kids really like going to Great-Grandma's because she has so much fun stuff to look at, and she always allows the kids to touch stuff, even though it looks untouchable.

Happy Happy Birthday

After church, we headed to mom and dad's house for a little birthday celebration for my nephew, and a belated celebration for me. The kids love going to 'Grandma Bourne's' house and I can usually bribe/cajole/con them into doing lots of things with the incentive of "grandma Bourne's" house in the near future. "Max, you have to have a nap if you want to go to Grandma's" or "Lucy, you need to eat your lunch better..." you get the picture. I don't like to use the bribery tool very often, but every once in a while, it works great.
We spent the day playing rook and hanging out. We had yummy tacos for dinner (my nephew's choice, but I probably would have chosen something similar), ate cake and opened presents. It was fun to see everyone again, especially now that most are feeling better, so we actually feel like we can be in the same room with each other without creating a disease cesspool. My nephew was a typical 11 year old, goofy, fun, and really excited about each gift his little cousins gave him. He does a pretty great job being the oldest grandchild. He got very excited about Lucy's attempt at drawing Megatron in his card and Emma and Ashley's little nursery rhymes and songs they performed for him. We always end up going home later than we plan, because it's hard to drag ourselves, and the kids away. Mom and Dad must have a pretty awesome home. We always leave with promises to the kids that the next visit will be soon.

A positive note

As I mentioned in earlier in my 'up yours' to the flu post, there have been many blessings that have come about this week, and I thought I'd take a moment to count them. After I ranted on and on about being sick of sick, I didn't feel much better...in fact, I felt much worse and ended up laying on the bathroom floor for a while and then in bed after my husband discovered me. Today, I have decided that the sun is shining and there is light at the end of the tunnel, so I'm going to sit here and think of all the blessings we have received in the last week while being sick, to help the brighter side win out. And these are in no particular order, because that would be a lot of effort...just as they come to my mind.
1. My beautiful children...ok, it might be a bit in order, because that is definitely the top of the list...we have been house bound and pretty much useless for about 9 days, and although there have been moments of frustration and angst, my children have been patient and kind and loving through this whole ordeal. Lucy especially. Max was under the weather as well, so sitting around was alright by him, but Lucy has been a bit stir-crazy with all this nothingness, but has tried very hard every day to do something for each of us to help us feel better. She went back to school today, finally, and was probably more relieved than anyone to have something else to do.
2. My husband. He has felt so awful, but still manages to worry and fret about me, Max and the little baby. He procured us some tamiflu late in the evening on Thursday and woke up friday morning (my birthday) after a terrible night's sleep and still cheerfully wished me a happy day.
3. My in-laws. Our first few days of this (last Sunday, Monday, Tuesday), we were so out of it, that I'm not sure we would have survived if it hadn't been for Janie and Janeen. Tyler and I took turns falling asleep wherever we happened to be on Monday, and Janie took care of the kids and made sure people had things to eat. Janeen provided buckets and kleenex and juice boxes to help give us some relief. Janie ended up coming down with it herself and missed a week of work too, but always seemed to muster up some energy that I couldn't to help us out. Plus there's Scott...who never got sick, so he ended up with the lion's share of 'to-dos' in order to help us out...most of which included things that I as a mother would have liked to have done, but just couldn't, like taking my kids trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins, and running errands. He was the go-to guy, and still did everything else he normally does
4. My family. They checked in on us regularly, and although we insisted that they stay away, they reassured us many times that they wished they could help, and did the best thing they possibly could have...said lots of prayers.
5. Sam. She showed up at 9:30am on my birthday with two bags of groceries (soup, gingerale, granola bars, juice) some toys for my kids to help ward off the boredom and some flowers for me. She was in and out in less than five minutes, but it was a nice perk up to an otherwise depressing birthday.
6. The Elders. On the first Monday we were down, they rearranged their schedule very quickly in order to come out and assist Scott in giving Max, Tyler and I each a blessing. They had never done it before, and they were a bit nervous, but it definitely helped us out. We ended up being down for a lot longer after that, but the few minutes of relief we received after the blessing were a highlight to the week, and the words spoken reassured us many times, when nothing else could. Without great detail, we were blessed to come out of this without any ill effects and most importantly that our little baby would be safe and unaffected and that I would have the opportunity to raise him here on the earth. That's the type of blessing I would like to receive whether I'm sick or not, so thanks.
7. Primary Pitch-ins. I was so sick, I couldn't fulfill my calling. And my counselor and her family were in the same boat, so primary was looking like a loss for this Sunday, but my music people, my teachers, and my sister-in-law all pitched in and got it done.
8. Dr Rob. (as Max likes to call him). He is a member of our ward and is so kind and reassuring and always willing to help. A few weeks ago, Max suffered from a pulled elbow that left him in tears for hours. Tyler called Dr. Rob on the phone and was talked through how to fix it. Max now thinks Dr. Rob is a hero. Tyler also called him this past week in order for him to call in a prescription to Shoppers Drug Mart at 10pm for us. He did, and Scott picked it up. Once again, Dr. Rob is the hero.
9. Even things as simple as a change in symptoms was a blessing. It all started with aches and chills and exhaustion and proceeded to include a horrible cough that seemed to rip through my innards and cause me unbelievable contractions. The cough hung on for Tyler, but thankfully for me it moved on to my head. I did end up with a sinus infection, but was relieved to not have to worry about contractions at the same time...so that was a blessing.
10. Modern Medicine. I'm not much into taking medicine. I don't like it, and only rely on things like tylenol when I'm in A LOT of pain. Well, this week, Tylenol was my friend. Tylenol, antivirals and antibiotics now for this sinus infection. This morning I popped 5 pills before 9am, and felt like I was 80 rather than almost 30...but it's working.
11. Glimpses. I'm grateful for moments in my life like this that remind me that I am human. That I do fall susceptible to the hardships of this mortal life as well as the blessings. I was reminded frequently of the choice I made to receive a mortal body and all that it entails, and I was still grateful. Tyler and I reflected one night on the atonement and how we focus a lot on the emotional turmoil of our Savior, but were reminded of the physical turmoil he experienced as well. We know that the atonement process took about 3 hours or so, whereas this has lasted for us for about 9 days. One might think that 3 hours would seem better than 9 days, but my faith and testimony help me to realize that the agony the Savior must have felt condensed into the pressure cooker of just 3 hours, when I have been miserable and ready to give up for 9 days, must have been intense...and this is just H1N1...he suffered for it all, and for that, I am grateful. When I am low, I know he has gone lower and is now raised up...and that gives me hope.

All our love to everyone who has been concerned and to my few readers (which I know consists mainly of mine and Tyler's moms). We are feeling better. We are still low on energy, but high in spirits, and that's really all that matters. We love you and are grateful for your watchful care. Someday, we will look back on this and say, "remember that week we had H1N1? Wasn't that awful?" and the memory will be foggy and distant and we won't really remember what it was like, but I hope I'll still be aware enough to be grateful for not feeling that bad now.

A little late never hurt nobody

Again, due to all the sickness flying around this park, we weren't able to do our usual pumpkin carving FHE that we usually do. We did manage to pick up pumpkins, but nobody had the energy to carve. Papa promised the kids while they were trick-or-treating that he'd carve with them after church the next day, so we headed up around dinner time, had a great meal and got to carving. Our pumpkins were on the smallish side, so we had to settle for some simpler designs this year, but the end product was still great. Lucy enjoyed being right in there with Papa the entire time, and Max came and went, as he usually does. Lucy kept calling the innards slamon. Not sure why. We had just eaten 'salmon' for dinner (actually halibut, but the kids already like salmon, so we stick with familiar names), but it looked nothing like the innards of a pumpkin. We have a "Jack Skellington" who my kids do not know, but it was an easy carve. Lucy kept telling me that it was the Joker...no matter how hard I tried to convince her. And then our cheerful ghost. Max's favorite part is blowing out the candles. I forgot to bring my camera with me, so we used Tyler's iphone. The pictures aren't as great, and the lighting makes it look like 1982, but it works. Thanks be to Papa for being the only one with energy this week. I think this is the best pumpkin ever...it looks just like him!

At least there's Halloween

In spite of all the sickness that is flying around these acres, Papa has managed to stay healthy, unlike the rest of us. Unfortunately for him, that has meant that he has been called on quite a bit to assist all the rest of us who can't take care of ourselves. He made a 10pm run on Wednesday night to the pharmacy to pick up antivirals for all his sickies, and was in charge of picking up pizza and a few groceries on Friday evening on his way home. But at least on Saturday, he got to do something that he really loves. And no, I'm not talking about the tonnes of recycling he loaded up and took to town. He was able to take his grandkids trick-or-treating. Tyler and I had talked that if we weren't healthy enough to go, then we'd just post-pone halloween and ask a few of our friends to open their doors to our kids and dole out some candy on a day when we all felt up to it. The kids were feeling much better by Saturday, I was marginal, and Tyler was still the worst off. Papa volunteered his services, so we decided to give it the go ahead and venture out. Of course, Max was a lot more perky at 2pm than he was at 6pm, but in theory he was feeling better. He ended up being carried by Papa the entire time, but enjoyed his time outside still the same. I was responsible to sit in the van and watch and take a few pictures when I could, so I could still be part of their exciting day. We started with a trip to Big Hill Lodge where Great Grandpa lives to visit the seniors who had set up in the lobby to great kids. I'm not sure how many kids they actually get, but it was nice. I stayed outside in the van to ensure I didn't spread germs into the Lodge. They got some chips and candy right off, and that set Lucy a-going. As we drove to another part of town (about 3 1/2 minutes away) to meet up with little Jacob, Lucy said, "I wish that you didn't have to stop at red lights on Halloween...that way we could just get there!" She was excited. It was a beautiful night for trick-or-treating, yet again. My kids are getting spoilt, two years in a row. I can't ever remember halloween's like this. We met up with Jason, Ali and Jacob, took a few pictures, and then headed to see Auntie Jo (Janie's sister). She was handing out glow sticks, which Lucy loved, and Max didn't really care for until we got home later. Then we hit about 25 houses on a side street. Lucy ran from house to house, with Jacob pretty close behind her, and Max up on Papa's shoulders or in his arms as much as possible. It took about an hour to do that many houses. Their bags were full, and they were content on that being enough. There is definitely wisdom on using a limited size bag instead of a pillowcase. What were my parent's thinking? Lucy enjoyed waving to me in the van as I watched their progress, and shouting out what loot they had picked up at the previous house. She also made friends with a little Bunny girl who she thought was, "so cute".
We stopped to get some milk and then headed home full of treats. They managed to each eat a bag of plain chips, smarties, a sucker and some juicebox in the 10 minutes we took to get home. I was glad I got to see them, and that we had at least a tiny bit of energy to make Lucy's week.
Max has since told me that smarties and 'kitty-kats' (kit kats) are his favorites.

sick of sick - warning, parts of this post are graphic in nature. reader discretion is advised

Well, here we are at the start of a new week and a new month and yet it is still looking surprisingly like the old one. I feel like someone in my family has been sick throughout the entire month of October...which really sucks because October is my favorite month. I'm not just playing favorites, because it happens to be my birthday month, it really is THE best month. Fall, changing leaves and crisp air and cool sweaters, plus there's Thanksgiving, and who doesn't love a mountain of turkey and trimmings? Plus, my birthday. Yes, it does add. And then top it off with Halloween. Quite possibly the most fun holiday ever...it does rival Christmas, especially when you have little kids. So like I was saying, October is the best month - and we have spent 99.9999999% of it with someone being under the weather. That person is usually Max, which makes me feel even worse for him, because his October REALLY sucked, but we've all had our turns. This month I have gone through 14 boxes of kleenex...14 people! about 8 of those have been in the last week. On some days, I was changing diapers up to 10 times a day because of diarrhea. My son is 2 1/2. Not a new born. 10 diapers a day, is a LOT! I've cleaned up vomit, diarrhea, and boogers out of crib sheets and bedding on multiple occasions this month. I've cleaned up diarrhea off my In-Law's basement floor, and washed clothes and bedding multiple times a day in some cases. And of course, after each of these diapers, nose wipes, and bedding changes, I've been washing my hands, which are now sandpaper versions of their former selves. For the most part, I have been able to avoid most of the sickness and just be the caregiver...which I may have been begrudging a little bit, because really, most people would rather be taken care of, then be the one taking care...well, I got my turn. This past week, our entire family has been down with this ridiculous H1N1 virus. And when I say down...I mean DOWN! It has been a week. Last Sunday afternoon is when it hit, and there hasn't been a moment where any one of us could sit up and say, "Hey, I think I'm feeling better." We wake up in the morning, knowing none of us has enough energy to do anything more than shower (which is necessary to provide at least a moment of relief). We stare into the day just waiting for the hours to pass by and then the night comes...the dreaded night. When you're so tired and want sleep SO badly, but are actually fearful to go to bed, because who knows what it will mean. Coughing all night, wheezing, stuffy nose to the point that your lips and gums are cracking and bleeding from being so dry. Tossing and turning for hours until the relief of morning comes, and you can sit and stare again. But of course, the coughing and wheezing and stuffy nose continue through the day, it just seems easier to handle when it's light out. We have been fortunate that the kids have slept well throughout this, as Tyler and I definitely have not. It's gotten to the point where I blow my nose and all I get out is blood. Yes, blood. I am filling up my garbage cans with more boxes of kleenex that are laden with my own blood. We've eaten toast and soup for a week straight. Dishes and laundry have piled up and the house looks like an explosion went off. Any other time someone is sick, I make sure to disinfect and clean sheets to get rid of germs, but since I'm down this week too, getting to those things just hasn't happened, so all I can do is sit on the couch and stare at the mess, imaging the germs taking over our house and leaving us in the state forever! There was some solace yesterday in that Max appeared to be doing better, the only problem being that having a 2 year old that feels better when his mom does not leads to a lot of messes that no one wants to clean up. On Thursday evening, we managed to get our hands on some prescriptions for tamiflu, the antiviral for this sickness. The side-affects of which reads: warning, may cause drowziness and dizziness. We both thought to ourselves, "drowsiness...bring it on!" Of course not. Instead, Tyler got terrible bouts of stomach pain and nausea and I got dizziness in the form of feeling like someone was starting a helicopter engine in my head, the roar of which vibrated through my ears all night. Fortunately, after 2 or 3 days your body becomes accustomed to the side-affects and you don't notice it anymore. So are past that point. An Antiviral, however, does not relieve symptoms...it is just an overall 'get well soon' card. So we have these meds in our bodies, which Max gags at every time he has to take it, but no relief. But we keep taking, with the assumption that it is the right thing to do.
So here we are, November 1st, and this thing still hangs on. I have often thought when I get a cold or sickness, "ok, this is what I'm dealing with for the next few days." and you wrap your mind around it and prepare to feel 'unwell' for a few and then start to pick up, with a few of the symptoms remaining for a week or even 2. Well, this little devil has clawed into our lives and hung on as tight as it can for an entire week now, with no respite. I think that I may literally collapse from insanity rather than any of my actual flu symptoms. Best part, I think it's turned into a sinus infection. oh joy.
That is the end of my ranting, because I need to have a shower. There have been many blessings throughout this week, and I want to be sure people know that...I will talk about those in another post. For now, this is my 'up yours' to the flu. Better days ahead...right?