It's working...so far

I just had a great General Conference weekend. I decided the easiest thing for me, would be to invite all my family out here to watch the sessions, that way my kids would still be in their own surroundings and I could control the watching of conference, as well as letting little Logan have his naps in his own bed, where it is quiet and uninterrupted. (If you haven't noticed a trend in my blogging yet, you're out of it...I like control!) So, the easiest thing (yes, it's true) was for me to welcome everyone here and host a sleepover with cousins and aunts and uncles as well as providing good eats for everyone while they were here. It meant a lot of time in the kitchen for me...but it's where I like to be. Plus, I had a super supportive husband who helped me out a lot. I was physically and emotionally exhausted by Sunday night, plus the fact that sleepovers mean less sleep for everyone! We're talking muscle ache and joint pain, exhausted. It was go-go-go from sun-up to sun-down...but it was SO MUCH FUN! People were around, we ate, we laughed, we listened to the prophets and apostles, we played games, we heard exciting news, we watched cousins play and do silly things. Seriously, it was SO MUCH FUN! But I'm glad it only comes twice a year! I've often wondered what traditions I would set up for my family surrounding the major holidays. Where will we spend Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving? When will I start being the one that cooks those amazing holiday meals...but as we focused this week on preparing for general conference by doing lots of grocery shopping, getting fun but quiet activities for the kids prepared so they could participate, and having people in my home I realized that this is the event that I want to be focusing on. My mother-in-law often tells the story that she once heard President Hinckley's daughter speak and she had said that in their home, their entire lives revolved around those two conferences. Much more than Christmas or any other time of the year....it's a good philosophy. My life should revolve around those times too. So I would like to propose that this will be my tradition. Not sure if it will always include everyone, but my plan is to make General Conference weekend a huge family event. Lots of food and hanging out and fun times as we get together and listen to the prophets and apostles. I want it to be a big deal. I want my family and I to look forward to it more than any other time of year. I made an effort this week to make lists and do a lot of prep work as far as meals and stuff went so that I wouldn't have to do so much as conference was actually going on. I was very mindful the entire weekend of the Mary/Martha mentality. Better and Best. Anyway, I'm rambling. It was a great weekend. Most especially because I felt lifted. No one's talk in particular...just the whole thing. I had been talking to the kids all week about how we can prepare for conference. How we need to be praying for the prophet and apostles even more than we usually do that they would be sustained and that the messages they have for us would be carried into our hearts and also, if we had any specific questions, we could pray about those and wait to receive the answers during conference. I really noticed that a lot of people seemed to talk about following the prophet and listening to the Holy Ghost...as if there's something we should be preparing for and we need to be better at listening to those two sources of guidance.
Anyway, the real point of this post was to talk about how 'it's' working. I've been down. Somewhat due to circumstance and somewhat due to my own lack of doing what I now is best. So I've determined to be better. I fasted last Sunday that I could turn around. That I could make a change. I know that I need to be better at praying, reading my scriptures and preparing for my life the way I do for speaking in church or having a calling. Being a mother is my calling...forever...and I need to work just as hard at it, in fact harder, than I do at anything else. Harder doesn't mean filling up my life with to-dos. My to-do list does not define me. But my attitude definitely does. So all this week I've been trying. I can't boast that I've been stellar, but there's a difference. My attitude is way better. I'm trying REALLY hard to not let little things get blown out of proportion...and most things are little things. I feel more at peace. I feel better. I still get overwhelmed with anxiety (had such a moment Saturday night), but I worked through it instead of pleading to be relieved from it. I hope my kids are noticing too. Mom's not such a cow all the time. Only half the time! Like I said, it's still a work-in-progress...but I guess that's the most that Heavenly Father expects of us...that we keep working, and we keep making progress. There is no sense of perfection here. It's just not attainable, but I am working and I'm progressing...bit-by-bit. And I hope I can maintain this momentum.