I struggle day to day at being a mother. Most of my struggles are in my head. But the lines on my face and the grey in my hair show that I struggle. I struggle with exhaustion. Self doubt. Frustration. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Mood swings. I struggle the most when I have a baby. Which I do now. I know it gets better because it HAS gotten better 3 other times...and that's what I cling to some days. The years are so fast but the days are so long. I get mitred down in the monotony of routine. But I stick to routine because I panic when things are spontaneous.
I'm physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted. But I will say this and hopefully it'll mean something. I still pray. Every day. I plead. And I know the answers are there. I still know my father loves me and I hang on to that so I can get through this. I also know that Satan is very aware of this struggle in me and tries to manipulate my thoughts. So I pray.
And the greatest blessing is your dad. I know the Lord pointed me to him for this very reason. He supports me like no one else could. And I'm grateful he's mine.
Lucy, be prayerful when you choose a spouse. There are many who will make you laugh and will bring you happiness...you need someone who will support you when you struggle. Someone who can see YOU. And be that person for them. Never let a current problem or grief lead you to forget who they really are. And support them for who they really are, and not for what this physical world shows them to be.
That's all.
And Lucy, if you struggle like I struggle, know this: I will be there for you. I will help you through it. And you will get through it. But my biggest prayer and hope is that this will not be your burden.
I love you.
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment