To my daughter

I'm writing today for Lucy...

I struggle day to day at being a mother.  Most of my struggles are in my head.  But the lines on my face and the grey in my hair show that I struggle.  I struggle with exhaustion.  Self doubt.  Frustration.  Anxiety.  Panic attacks.  Mood swings.  I struggle the most when I have a baby.  Which I do now.  I know it gets better because it HAS gotten better 3 other times...and that's what I cling to some days.  The years are so fast but the days are so long.  I get mitred down in the monotony of routine.  But I stick to routine because I panic when things are spontaneous.  

I'm physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted.  But I will say this and hopefully it'll mean something.  I still pray.  Every day.  I plead.  And I know the answers are there.  I still know my father loves me and I hang on to that so I can get through this.  I also know that Satan is very aware of this struggle in me and tries to manipulate my thoughts.  So I pray.  

And the greatest blessing is your dad.  I know the Lord pointed me to him for this very reason.  He supports me like no one else could.  And I'm grateful he's mine.  

Lucy, be prayerful when you choose a spouse.  There are many who will make you laugh and will bring you happiness...you need someone who will support you when you struggle.  Someone who can see YOU.  And be that person for them.  Never let a current problem or grief lead you to forget who they really are.  And support them for who they really are, and not for what this physical world shows them to be.  

That's all.  

And Lucy, if you struggle like I struggle, know this:  I will be there for you.  I will help you through it.  And you will get through it.  But my biggest prayer and hope is that this will not be your burden.  

I love you.  

Mom

This is today

When I don't have babies I thrive on busy days.  As long as they don't happen every day.  Let's be honest.  But a busy day + a baby equates to major anxiety for me.  There were multiple moments that included tears today.   A quick prayer in the morning helped to calm the nerves and the tears ended up being at more appropriate times.  

Logan had a field trip to Cochrane Ranch this morning.  

Lucy participated in her school talent show this afternoon.  She performed to an audience of two grandma's, two parents, 3 brothers, and an auntie Sarah...plus 800 other students...and she did great! 

We skipped out at intermission so we could get home and change and put Seth down for a nap so the 5 non-babies could go to Cirque de Soleil Kurios.  It was awesome!  And the ever generous grandma B babysat Seth so we could.  

My boys are so handsome.  

The show was amazing and the kids loved it.  

Then we headed to BPs for a bite to eat and balloon animals:

We made the drive home quickly as it was getting late and my relaxing evening was threatening to turn into a pumpkin with the approach of my anxiety...

And I returned home to a boy who was glad to see me and a mom who is the best.  Smiles all around.  

We finished the evening with last minute touch ups to the Kub Kar.  She's ready to race tomorrow!  

That's today.  Now we sleep in preparation for tomorrow, which includes some promised cirque reenactments by the kids and a rally. 

Climbing Mountains

Today was the last day of our 4-day weekend.  I love weekends.  I live for weekends.  Especially long ones.  And every weekend I am convinced that I can't wait till it's summer.  This is our last long weekend until the summer.  Who planned that?  

Anyway, these things are beside the point.  This weekend was wonderful not only because it was long, but also because it was monumental.  

We have been reading the Old Testament as a family for just over 2 years.  It's been a long, hard haul.  We started it the day after we finished reading the Pearl of Great Price, which we started the day after we finished the Doctrine and Covenants, which...we started the day after we finished the Book of Mormon.  We've done a really good job of reading most days.  Really good.  But the last 2 years have been long.  We were really feeling the need to get back to the Book of Mormon and the spirit it carries with it for our family.  But we also didn't want to give up on what we were doing.  So that brought us to the decision to attempt an Old Testament Marathon to finish this weekend.  

We set up a schedule and a reading chart.  We planned break-time activities, snacks, and stickers.  And we prayed we'd stay on task.  

It was hard.  But everyone was motivated.  And when one person would get unmotivated, another would encourage.  

And just like the last 2+ years, the last 2+ days were long and hard.  We were in Ezekiel 11 when we began our marathon.    We read on average about a page every 3-4 minutes.  Friday we read 70 pages, 40 chapters.  We broke it up with a trip to the Red Park and DQ.  Plus we had Little Sarah's bday party that evening which the kids really enjoyed.  

Saturday it was hard to get back in it.  We averaged a bit less but pushed hard in the evening and got to Zechariah 4, which left us with only 14 more chapters for Sunday. 

Sunday we finished Zechariah in the afternoon and on the way to grandmas for a hot tub and then read Malachi on the way home.  

I have to admit I got a little teary in the last few verses of Malachi 4.  We got home and took a picture in front of our completed chart and all 3 kids said: 'this is the best day ever!' 

We climbed a spiritual mountain this weekend.  How many 10, 8, and 5 year olds can say they've read all this volumes of scripture?  We will get to the New Testament eventually and complete the Standard Works...but for now we return to our friend the Book of Mormon.  

As a reward for their hard work this weekend, we decided to climb a physical mountain as well.  So we headed to Kananaskis country with family and friends and hiked.  It was a beautiful day in the backyard of Alberta.  

Logan was really excited about our day in the mountains and came bounding into our room with a huge grin on his face.  

Dad: 'Logan, you know we can't go to the VERY top of the mountain, right? 

Logan: 'yeah, cuz it's too pointy right?'

It was a beautifully exhausting day.

I spent much of it wearing my baby jewelry: 

Watching this guy: 

We finished at this natural spring waterfall which was so beautiful.  We rested for about 45 minutes and then made the trek back which was also exhausting.  Sore muscles!  But oh so fun.  

We even saw a wild bear!  

(And this guy did so good). 

Guilty pleasure

So most days Tyler is responsible for getting Logan to school on his way to work.  And I pick him up.  It works out well with Seth's napping and most days it's easy.  Today, Tyler had to be at work early so he couldn't drive Logan and it was up to me...and I copped out.  I totally kept him home because I have a birthday party to get ready for and knew I needed Seth to sleep well.  

Most days Logan is totally on board with skipping school and we usually have to convince him to go.  But for se reason today he really wanted to go and I really didn't!  So I promised (read: bribed) him with a fun day with mom to stay home.  

Guilty.  

So we got ready quickly and headed to the park first where we played some imagination game he invented that involved squids and pirates and steering the ship.  And Seth sat in a swing.  Then we followed a treasure map home to check for treasure (in the form of checking the mail).  There was only an invisible note written with invisible ink.  (Read: empty mailbox).  Logan decoded our notes while Seth and I ate cereal.  

The blue star

Magic potion

Below the cliff

What does it mean?  Who knows, but we did some Science experiments to figure it out.  

Once our experimenting was complete Seth went for a nap and Logan and I played cards and made paper airplanes.  

We fed Seth and ate French fries.  

Then he set up a car wash in the sink while I got food ready for the party.  

We flew airplanes and made another treasure map.  

And now he gets a few minutes of iPad time while I put the last touches on the party while Seth sleeps again.  It's been fun and exhausting but I definitely don't feel guilty.  We'll see if that lasts when Tyler gets home.  

It was a lot better than sitting and watching tv or doing chores all day.  We had super fun and I'm glad.  It's ok to miss school for that, right?  

6 months

6 months old. 

15.7 lbs

Rolling over.

Trying to crawl.  (Oh boy!) 

Sleeps good (most of the time)

Loves pears and rice cereal.

Constantly constipated. 

And yes, he's that cute.

Photo blog

The love of armpit farts

Things only boys say: 

Logan: 'dad, can I fall on my face?'

Dad: 'I wouldn't recommend it, but if you want to...'

Logan: 'ok.  But watch me in case my eye pops out or something.'

The look he gives me when I give him green beans and he was expecting peaches: 

This jailbird is practicing his escape...it takes tongue concentration: 

First swing:

The kids are playing chicken with the sprinkler today...trying to see who can last the longest standing still in front of it. 

8 is Great

My Maxwell Scott is 8 - and baptized!  It was a great day.  It involved haircuts (the night before), a new suit, cousins, food, and the most important part...covenants.  I was so proud of my boy.  He's been so excited for this day for a long time.  He's been planning the event since Lucy was baptized and knew right away that he would want his cousin Cy to baptize him.  Cy turned 16 in November and was ordained a priest, so it worked out by just a matter of months.  

Cy even texted that morning to find out what Max was going to wear so they could match.  He's a good cousin.  

Max's baptism was combined with 2 other kids in the primary: Brooklyn Purnell and Deakon Gerrie.  He has known Deakon since nursery and Brooklyn is a new friend since we moved back to Cochrane.  We decided to make the baptismal service really focused on the kids, so they filled the program.  Deakon gave the opening prayer, Lucy gave a talk, Brooklyn and her brother Graham sang a song, Deakon's mom gave a talk, and Max gave the closing prayer.  It was really fantastic.  

In Lucy's talk she shared this story:

The Three Bears of Baptism

I’m going to tell the story of the three bears ... the three bears of baptism.  These bears can help us remember the covenants, or promises,  we make with Heavenly Father when we are baptized. 

• The first BEAR of baptism is to bear HIS name. You bear your father’s name. Your name shows others you belong to your father, to your family. By being  baptized, you take on the name of Christ and become an official member of his church. You will try to do things that Jesus would do.
• The second BEAR of baptism is to bear testimony, or to bear witness and share with others that we know Jesus is the Son of God. That we know he is our Savior and we know His gospel is true. Always remember him in your thoughts, actions and the example you  set.
• The third BEAR of baptism is that we bear one another's burdens, that they may be light. That means we help each other with the work that needs to be done and also we help others when they have trouble and sorrow so they won't suffer alone. This is one way we can  follow the Savior's commandment to love one another, the same way He loves us.

You are only baptized one time. Today is your special day. But Heavenly Father has given us all a chance to renew our Baptismal Covenant every week when we take the sacrament. Listen to the priests as they bless the sacrament and remember your bears ....

You bear his name.

You bear your testimony.

You bear one another's burdens.

And remember what Heavenly Father promises YOU ... that He will pour out His spirit upon us.  I can think of nothing better than to always have his spirit with us.  

She did a really excellent job speaking in the chapel in front of a really large group.  I was so proud of her.  Because there were 3 baptisms, there were a lot of guests and she managed it remarkably.  Everyone commented on how great she did.  I heard later from Dixie Robertson that Cade (their oldest son who is 6) was so impressed he was SURE that Lucy must be a short adult...

As we did with Lucy's baptism, we had people write special notes or their testimony on a card for Max.  It's a great treasure to have (at least I think so) and I hope he enjoys looking back and reading them.  I've decided to include the messages here because 8-year-old boys are not well known for their sentimentality...and I found the cards mixed in with Pokemon, so I'm not sure they'll survive to the point that he'll get a chance to reread them.  

Max: Today is a great day for you.  make sure you write down your thoughts and feelings from today so you can be reminded of them in the future.  I'm proud of you Buddy.  You're a good example to your siblings and cousins.  I know you will continue to do so.

I know what you did was right.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's true church.  I love you!  

Love Uncle Tyson

Max: Congratulations!  You made a very important and a very good decision today! Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are so pleased, and so are we!

We love you!  Auntie tammy :)

Max: Good Job!  I can't wait to be baptized too!  We love you!  Ashley

It was a good baptism - Jacob

Max: I am so proud of you today.  You are such a great example to your younger cousins.  I am very grateful for your strength and testimony, it radiates from you.  I know we don't spend a lot of time together but I want you to know that I love you very much.  I too know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's only true church on the earth. 

Thank you for inviting me to watch you get baptized today.  It was such a special experience.  I look forward to witnessing other milestones in your life.  Love Aunty Becca

CONGRATULATIONS MAX!! - Jillian

Max - Today is a BIG important day.  Today you are making a covenant with your Heavenly Father and participate in the very first ordinance necessary to make it back to live with Him.  After today you are a member of the church you have the Holy Ghost as a constant companion.  WOW!  That's a lot of really amazing things happening in just one day!

I want you to know that I have a testimony that the things you're doing today are right.  I promise that as you keep the covenants you make today Heavenly Father will bless you.  Even as a grown up (kind of) that is what I try every single day to do...keep my covenants.  It will be hard sometimes, and other times easy but always worth it.  Work towards making more covenants in the temple.  

You're amazing and I love you!  Auntie Sarah

CONGRATULATIONS MAXWELL SCOTT!

Max,

Congratulations on your baptism!  Today was an awesome day that you'll remember forever.  This is one of the best things you'll ever do, and I know as you work hard to do the right things and keep the covenants you made today, your Heavenly Father will bless you.

Sister Ovard

Max, you are now experiencing one of the most important days of your life.  Good luck!  I know you are making the right choice.  congratulations! - Lucy

Dear Max: I am so proud of you ~ you are such an amazing boy! So obedient, so happy, so smart and so strong.  Thank you for inviting me to participate in your baptism - it was so special to see Cy perform the baptismal ordinance.  He is a worthy priesthood holder.  I want you to know, that I know Heavenly Father loves you, that Jesus Christ lives, that President Monson is a Prophet, that the Book of Mormon is true, this is the Lord's Church, restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith.  I know it is true! And I love you Max, very much.  

Love, gramma Janielee :)

Dear Max,

I am so pleased and excited with your decision to be baptized!  Stay close to your Heavenly Father so that the Holy Ghost can be your constant companion. Kari Murdock

Maxwell,

I love this gospel with all of my heart.  Living the standards are not always the most popular thing but it does bring so much true happiness in the long run.  I know that this is the true gospel of Jesus Christ and that being a member of this church is exactly where the Lord wants you and me to be.  The scriptures give so much direction and guidance to us.  I feel so blessed to be a member of this Church and I hope you do too.  Stay close to your family, when things get tough they will be your greatest support and help you so much.  I love you Max and I am so proud of you.  The Lord has blessed you with compassion and kindness and you can use those gifts to strengthen His kingdom! You are awesome bud!  Love you.  Janeen

To Max from Callum,

Thank you for being baptized.  You did a good job!

Max: Thanks for inviting us to witness your special day!  You are a great boy and have a great future serving the Lord and those you love.  This is your second great beginning and we couldn't be happier for you!

Uncle Mike

Dear Max:

Grandma loves you so much.  I am so pleased that you have followed through with this important choice of making covenants with your Heavenly Father.  I am also pleased to know how much you love your scriptures.  I love mine too.  They are treasures.  They will help you be strong in following Heavenly Father and the Savior.  I love Heavenly Father and Jesus.  I have a testimony of them, their plan of happiness for us, prophets, temples, the scriptures.  I am grateful that Heavenly Father guided me to His Church and gospel.  You are a choice, noble, righteous son and may you always be so.

Hugs...Grandma Bourne

To Max:)

Congratulations on your baptism day!  Thank you so much for being a great example to your siblings and cousins.  The spirit was so strong.  Always remember the spirit throughout your life.  

Love from Sister Joseph (sister missionary)

Max: Congratulations on your baptism!

Max! I am so proud of you!  You have made the decision to follow the Savior and you will receive so many blessings for it.  You have received on of the greatest gifts your Heavenly Father can give you on earth and that is the Holy Ghost.  I know that the Holy Ghost is real!  Do everything you can to learn how he speaks to you and you will be guided throughout your life.  Your aunt Janeen and I love you and will be here for you always!

Love Uncle Coleton

Max: My sweet boy - I love you so much.  I'm so proud of you and the person you are choosing to be.  Today is a great day.  It is one of the many great choices you have already made and will continue to make.  These decisions will bring you happiness.  I know this church is true and I am grateful for your testimony.  

love you special bud. 

Mom

Max: I am so proud of you!  I hope you can remember this day for the rest of your life.  Emma

Dear Max: It's no fair...your water was warm.  My water was freezing!! Taylor Larocque

Dear Maxwell Williamson:

You are really a handsome boy for eight, we are so proud of you, we are really glad you and your family moved back to Cochrane so grandma can see you often.  Come and see me sometimes - we have family swims every Saturday and the water in the pool is warm.  Love you very much

Grandma Maurine

I forgot to tell you, I was nine when I got baptized because we had to travel to the Cardston temple - the man that baptized me was Brother Salamba and he had a beard down to his waist, he was quite old because his beard was as white as snow - I was confirmed by my Grandma Lybbert in Glenwood that evening.  Love you - Grandma Maurine

To Max:

You are now on a brilliant path, you've done the right thing today and I hope you always look back on today and know that God has a plan for you and you are on the right path towards returning to him.  As I have always said: "Divine truth is not relative"  You are living the true gospel, and the way has been prepared by your oldest brother, Jesus Christ.  Love you Max - Uncle Trevor

My Dear Sweet Maxwell:

I am so happy for you and happy that you made this wonderful decision to be baptized.  I know that Heavenly Father is so happy with you as well.  This is an amazing and important step on the road back to our Heavenly Father.  Max, I love you, your love for the scriptures and willingness to help and serve others inspire me to be better.  You're already such an example and teacher that I know you're going to be an excellent missionary.  Love Samantha

Maxwell:

I was baptized when I was nine by my uncle Blayne Hirsche.  At that time the prophet of the church was David O McKay.  Being baptized was one of the best decisions of my life, especially since I also received the Holy Ghost.  I am very proud of the decisions you have made, and feel very blessed to be your Papa.

Max,

Attending your baptism brought back memories of when I was a boy being baptized.  The Holy Ghost was there just as he was today.  My advice to you is to always seek to do good to others, as Jesus would.  Keep the cub scout promise!

Akela (Tom Heninger)

Max we are so glad you decided to be baptized.  I know how important it is to be baptized and hope that you come to learn what a blessing this can be in your life.  Remember how you feel and write down your feelings today.  When you look back at a later time in your life it was be a  great blessing to you.

Love Uncle Jason and Auntie Ali

 Dear Max,

I am SO well pleased with the righteous choices that you have made.  Especially the choice to be BAPTIZED!  As you get older and learn more things about Jesus and his great example, you will always be grateful for your decision to be baptized and begin to follow Him TODAY. Keep on this straight course to Eternal Life.  The sweetest blessings will now begin to flow into your life.  I will always love you, and so does everyone else.  Keep your testimony bright by always remembering Jesus by reading the scriptures and prayer.

Love Bumpa

The primary president spoke to the kids and welcomed them to the ward.  She gave them each a blanket (comforter) so they could remember their special day and the Gift of the Holy Ghost they had just received

After we were done, we headed back to Grandma and Papa's for some sandwiches and salads and lots of playing.  The kids got inventive outside and created a make-shift zipline for themselves.  Boys will be boys.