An Ensign to me

We got the March Ensign in the mail today.  And it was needed.  We're at 4 months here and each day feels like an eternity of the same struggle only to go to bed completely exhausted, but unable to really sleep and wake up to the same thing again.  Getting out of bed is hard.  It's one of the hardest things I do.  So today I read my scriptures and pray and read the ensign and hold my breath until this passes.  There are good days.  Really good days and I am so grateful for those.  And I go back and read my blog from when Logan was a baby to get my bearings and see when things started to get better, because I'm in the middle of it right now.  And every day I change my mind about this decision I made to have baby #4.  And you can't change your mind.  So I hold my breath instead.  And I read and read and read.  

March Visiting Teaching Message:

The Attributes of Jesus Christ: Long-Suffering and Patient

'Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.  Patience means active waiting and enduring.  It means staying with something...even when the desires of our hearts are delayed.  Patience is not simply enduring; but enduring well!' - President Uchtdorf

In our premortal life, our Heavenly Father prepared a plan for us - His spirit children - and we shouted for joy at the opportunity to come to earth.  As we choose to align our will with His during our earthly life, He 'will make an instrument of [us] in [His] hands unto the salvation of many souls.' (Alma 17:11)

'Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith.  It means being 'willing to submit to all things which The Lord seeth fit to inflict upon us, even as a child doth submit to his father'.  Ultimately patience means being firm and steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of The Lord every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so.' - President Uchtdorf

Prophetic Promise: 

"Perhaps during hard times, we might find ourselves asking, 'Do we really need to obey all of God's commandments?'

'My response to this question is simple: 

'I think God knows something we don't - things that are beyond our capacity to comprehend! Our Father in Heaven is an eternal bring whose experience, wisdom, and intelligence are infinitely greater than ours...

'Part of our challenge is, I think, that we imagine that God has all of His blessings locked in a huge cloud up in heaven, refusing to give them to us unless we comply with some strict, paternalistic requirements He has set up.  But the commandments aren't like that at all.  In reality, Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us .  It is our fear , doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us.  

'His commandments are the loving instructions and the divine help for us to close the umbrella so we can receive the shower of heavenly blessings."

- President Uchtdorf

Big haircut

Being 5 deserves a handsome haircut.  

And old classic disney movies bring people together: (Swiss Family Robinson)

5 years old

The count down to five started shortly after 4.  

There were monthly accountings of how many days, weeks, months till his birthday...

And finally! 

On Friday he came with me to Walmart and was allowed to pick out his present . He chose a Jake and the Neverland Pirates ship and a car.  But he wasn't allowed to open them until his party...Monday

February bday dinner at Grandma B's on Sunday.  When we arrived he informed me that it was practically tomorrow because all we had to do was eat dinner and go to bed, so maybe he should open his present...?  

Monday morning...finally!  He opened the presents at home before the party because he just couldn't take it.  And then it was hard to leave the toys to go to the

dinosaur Museum! 

We exhausted ourselves walking around and finished with food and timbits in the cafeteria

We finished the day with pancakes and Big Hero 6.  It was an epic day...and not even his birthday yet.  

Tuesday started with a few tears and was a bit shaky.  He decided to quit our family and go live with Paul (our neighbour).  Put his coat on over his pjs and headed out the door...because his brother wasn't sharing the iPad.  Dad walked with him to the mailbox and by the time they came back happiness had found him again.  I think it was a result of a late night and early morning along with being birthday overwhelmed and a cold .  

I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said, 'pizza AND hot dogs...from Pizza Hut.'  I convinced him to do hot dogs for lunch and we did Pizza Hut for dinner.  

So today he got a date with mom to town .  We took the bottles into the bottle depot where he helped exchange them and got to keep the deposit money for himself.  Then it was over to Walmart to pick something to spend it on.  More cars...naturally, although it took a while to decide.  

Playing with toys in the afternoon with his brother and a pizza/bounce house party at the church

I honestly think one of the biggest highlights of his day was when the waterline got hooked up to our new fridge.  Now he can get a drink whenever he wants, plus it makes ice.  

Cubed and crushed.  

This guy has been my best buddy for a long time.  It's strange to me that he's 5. I asked him what 5 means and he said more toys.  I think he was a bit focused on party stuff.  

I love this boy.  His first priority is play.  In all aspects he just wants to play and play with people.  He's all boy.  Cars, trucks, digging, climbing, farms and Papa.  He wants to be a construction worker or a 'farm guy' with chickens when he's bigger.  He loves toast and can eat a half a loaf of bread a day if I let him.  He also loves subway and chicken nuggets and EVERYTHING with ketchup.  And everyone is awesome...it's his highest compliment.  

A Happy Valentines

Last night, for our at home Valentines, Tyler surprised me by telling me the story of these two: 

 And how those two became these two: 

And because of this day, he has felt like this: 

...Every day since.  

It was super sweet.  He treated me to Reese Peanut Butter cups while he had his Twix and we sat and looked at photos and read old letters.  Ones from his mission, ones from when we were dating.  There were a few tears, and a lot of laughs.  One of the perks of being married to someone you've dated since you were 17 is lots of memories and a best friend for life...but it also means that every embarrassing dating story you have never dies because you're still with that person.  Cheesy pick up lines.  Weird traditions.  It made for a lot of giggles.  

The best part was it reminded us how much we love each other and how great it is to have been together now for 17 years.  I love him.  He's perfect.  Lovely valentines.  Lovely man. 

All those little boys

This is what happens in our house when Lucy is out for the evening.  The testosterone simply takes over:

Seth Charlie Williamson

Thoughts from week one: 

This week, every time I had a thought of significance, or not...sometimes they are just things that actually stood out in the blur of week one, I wrote it down.  Some are epiphanies...some are sleep-deprived rants. 

* I really wanted to experience labour during the day for once.  Just one time! Not for me.  

* there's my handsome, stressed out husband, trying to get some work done after midnight, while we wait.  I'm bored. Can't sleep.  

* why do they have to decorate delivery rooms with pictures of nursing mothers? Guilt-trip!  Or in case I forget why I'm here...? 

* Waiting. 

* I have NEVER had a labour that fast or that painful.  I wondered if I could handle something like that.  Apparently the answer is yes.  

* I always claim I'm not one of those ladies who screams in labour.  This time, I was.  And I squeezed Tyler's hand so hard he asked (politely) if I could ease up.  All stereotypical. 

* small baby = easy recovery

* so handsome!!

* he latched!  That's never happened before.

* meeting his siblings!

 * all of these IVs and blood pressure checks blew my veins.  Looks brutal!

* Sunday morning loafers

* thanks to the miracle of night sweats, the swelling is slowly going down!  Hallelujah, I have almost real legs again!

* discovering you have a mold problem when your baby is 1 week old...not fun.  

*best buddy cousins

* how about a bow tie as big as your face...?

* I'm not producing milk.  My baby is so dehydrated that he has orange urate crystals in his diaper and hasn't had a bowel movement in 5 days.  Yet again I switch to formula.  Thank heavens he will actually sleep now though.  

It's been an exhausting and exhilarating first week.  I can't believe this tiny person is finally here.  I can't believe I'm doing this again.  I can't believe I love another little person this much.  

Back-to-School

We're into October now, and the kids are well into school.  Starting a new school in a new city is always a challenge, but I'm pretty pleased with how things are going so far.  The kids all have great teachers this year and Lucy has quickly made new friends in her class.  Max is always a bit slower to make friends, but seems to enjoy the company of some of his classmates.  He had a few issues the first few weeks of school with his seat-mate, Xander, but the teacher has since moved him and things are better.  Logan has started preschool this year, although he barely met the cut-off for kindergarten. We decided to wait the year so he could be a bigger kindergartener rather than the smallest.  Plus, none of the kids in his primary class were starting this year and we didn't want him to be way ahead of his friends at church.  He's loving going to preschool at TLC and it's good for him to get out and do something that's just his.  I was thinking it would give me some time to myself too, especially with a new baby coming, but the morning isn't quite long enough to get much done before I have to pick him up.  It is a nice break, but it also takes coordinating.

Within the first few weeks of school, Mitford had 'Spirit Week' which included Crazy Hair Day, Fancy Day, and Western-wear Day.  The kids had fun dressing up that week, and it was slightly easier to get them going in the mornings.  

We've also made it through Picture Day for all 3 kids, and all chose to be fancy this year.  Not sure why, but the pictures look good.  

The biggest adjustment to back to school has been the time it starts.  The kids catch the bus at 7:40am.  In Kingston, school didn't start until 9:15am, so the kids didn't need to be up until 8:00 and we had plenty of time to get ready and walk to school.  Now the alarm goes off at 6:50am and it's a panic rush to get them out the door on time.  It is nice that they're home before 3:00 in the afternoon, because it gives us time to do stuff before dinner and bedtime, but it's still an adjustment.  We're almost 6 weeks in and we're still struggling.  

Lucy is also claiming that grade 4 is a lot harder and isn't really enjoying Math this year.  It hunk this is the first time it's actually taken her some effort, and she's not used to that.  And Max seems to have memory failure every day.  I ask him what he did at school and every day he says, "I don't remember."  I think it's a boy thing...